180° Turn Blog
180° Turn Blog
God has taught me that nothing can satisfy our spirits except having intimacy with and being truly loved by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Any loss of parent/child, friend or spouse relationships or loss of intimacy from them is unmatched to the gain of knowing Christ.
I cry out in anguish because I want those I gave my heart too, to love me back. But not only do they not love me, they cannot love me because they don't know Jesus or they have chosen to walk away from Him.
How blessed I am to know the truth because it has set me free. "And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32
I tried to tell my close family the only thing that matters is knowing Christ. I thought they believed, but found out they didn't. They were too ingrained in the world's earthly riches. The gospel has been preached to the whole earth.
It shocks my heart and makes me anxious for my unsaved loved ones. By Biblical predictions, the signs of the times are showing more and more end-time portents. Prophetically speaking, Jesus is wrapping up all things pertaining to our nations and countries.
I prayed, "Lord, I place my son into Your hands. Spend his life to Your utmost glory."
From Malachi 4:5-6
Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to the fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.
The Lord is telling me the spirit of Elijah is here.
This alarms me because I know the awesome might and power of our Lord, Adonai Elohim. He is coming soon. How is my son's spirit going to be changed from this confused youth who is under the enemy's influence in his father's house?
Then I have to just stop, quiet my heart, and start taking deep breaths. This brings Holy Spirit into focus. 2 Cor 4:18. The unseen is what is real, not what is seen.
The gift of discerning of spirits is different in me. I can see the enemy attachments quickly to another. Many people run from me, especially those that are demonized. As I pray sometimes the person comes to Christ, but mostly they come to themselves. They are empty after Jesus' presence removes the evil. It's important that they refill their spirit with Holy Spirit.
I just have to trust in God with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. I have to give my fear of man over to the Lord. What can they do to me? Though they remove their conditional love, abandon and reject me, it does not matter. Christ is my Ish (my husband). I follow Him.
That's when I realize it's all worth it. Because the God of the universe came and saved me. He loves me. He will never leave me nor forsake me.
Jesus is my Redeemer and Defender. All I need is Him!
My prayer is to let them go and let God, I trust Him, the author and finisher of my faith.
But to you who fear My name The Sun of Righteousness shall arise with healing in His wings; And I shall go out and grow fat like stall fed calves. 3 I shall trample the wicked, for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet on the day I do this, " says the Lord of Hosts.
Down in the abyss it's so deep and dark, even with my eyes open, I cannot see a thing. When I look up, because the of the steep pit walls, I see not a speck of light.
Then God says, "Let there be light", and my whole existence is illuminated. I am in a deep dark place. I ask God, "How did I get here?" It is where I ended up when I followed my own dreams and desires. It is not a good place to be.
But as you live and learn, we all end up in the depths unless we are in touch with Our Creator, unless we keep Him first.
It's His plans and purpose for our lives that matter, not our own. It takes many of us a lifetime to figure this out.
I dug my own pit and now the Lord is graciously pulling me up and out, painful step by painful step.
From the outside looking in the world said, "You have it all." A great marriage, 2 homes, an engineering career, no kids, and a Lucky dog. The American dream.
The change was gradual, but discontentment was creeping in. In my late thirties, I started fertility testing, and the conclusion was I could not get pregnant.
As a couple, we told ourselves this was okay. It wasn't meant to be. We filled our "family" time with promiscuous adult adventures. We were mature adults after all. Because it was consensual, it was okay right?
Then it happened. At 42, I got pregnant, and we had a beautiful miracle, a healthy baby boy. We were complete now. Or so I thought.
Wrong. My husband wanted to stay in the "old" lifestyle. It's all he knew. He was addicted and could not stop.
Myself, on the other hand, was trying to figure out the nurturing mode of motherhood. All I wanted was to take care of our son. My husband had become jealous. He didn't understand me anymore.
I needed help. I thought moving by family was the solution, so off to Oregon we went. They would help me, right?
The move didn’t help of course, and our marriage deteriorated.
At first, I resented our son, thinking he was the problem, but it was us. My husband was still a high-power successful engineer, and I was now a stay-at-home mom.
Behind closed doors, without God, life was ugly.
I was drinking heavily, and my husband was online porning, ignoring me. Stalemate! Something had to give. Jacob was only four years old. After catching my spouse in yet another illicit relationship, I told him we were separated. We were done. I was in counseling and had started attending a church. There was nothing wrong with him, he said, he wouldn’t go.
Little did I know radical change/help was on the way.
One night my husband came home from work and pulled me to the couch. He had been to church; he would do anything to save our marriage. He had had a change of heart. He said he would get help for his addiction. We would go to counseling together. He would make it work.
I couldn't believe it. I was shocked. It was what I had prayed for. My marriage was going to be fixed.
All alone at midnight, I was on a roller coaster, going up, then going down, up, and down. My feelings and emotions were erratic, I cried out in a loud voice, “I can’t do this anymore.” I was spent, I was done. Then The Lord came, a bright white cloud of light came around me. A face with white woolly hair appeared to me inside the cloud. I was in His protective bubble. He said, “Here I am.” He came to tell me many things. One of the first things he said was "my marriage could be fixed if we stayed the course."
I was ecstatic, joyful, filled with the Holy Spirit, then and there. I couldn't believe He was real. I was shocked, stunned, tongue-tied. I listened; I could not get enough.
I told everybody about the Lord coming to save me. I changed rapidly. I put down the bottle and kept up counseling. I was being healed from the inside out. Everything was going to be all right.
But I was wrong yet again. My husband said, "Why would God come and save you?" My in-laws said, "Of course, there's nothing wrong. You have a great life." My family said, "You will never change."
But I knew! I now knew God was real and He existed. I believed. I only cared about pursuing Him.
We did not stay the course. That life was gone. My husband went back to his old ways.
After 2 nasty trials, I left Oregon thinking to make a life for my son and I in Texas with my family. He was 7 by then. The scariest thing I ever did was drive my son and I cross country to start a new life. I thought it was finished. I thought it was over. I raised our son in the Faith.
I was to be shocked yet again.
Last summer my son chose to leave my home and go live with his dad in Oregon. After yet another nasty trial, his dad manipulated him and undermined my authority. My son didn't have a chance. I raised him in the Christian faith just as the Lord wanted. I had eleven years of influence over him, but now it was time to let go. It's time for him to fly solo at just 16.
I don't understand but I trust the Lord. He is Sovereign. I found out long ago, I don’t have to understand, I must trust and obey.
And where does that leave me? In the best place possible. Reaching up my hand. He is pulling me up and out. I am at the top of the abyss. I can see my Light, Jesus. The author and finisher of my faith. I walk by faith, not by sight.
I chose HIM!
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past…”. Isaiah 43:18,19
My 2021 Verse
For thirteen months, I was stuck in the “dwelling” place, the place of unforgiveness and sadness. How about for you? Like me, were you abandoned and rejected? Were or are you still discouraged and bitter, full of disappointment? It doesn’t have to be that way.
How was I able to transition from dwelling in the past to coming to terms with my past? There is a big difference. Yet you cannot suppress your negative emotions from your traumatic experiences either.
I have learned it is by forgiving and forgetting completely. This is much easier said than done. This is the hard road for most of us, not the path of least resistant, but the unnatural path. However, with the “Not Guilty” verdict from God and His magnificent grace and mercy, I was able to find forgiveness and forgetfulness in His arms. He forgave me; therefore, I was able to ask forgiveness of others. Then I said the impossible words, “I forgive you because He forgave me.” I was able to release the burden of guilt and shame over to our precious Jesus. Was the other person absolved of their crimes? Of course not. But I gave their justice and punishment over to the Lord. The hurtful individual(s) is no longer in control of me. Unforgiveness gives them control. Forgiveness gives me back my joy.
Jesus gives us the command, “Forgive those that trespass against us.” Notice this is not prequalified with “When you are ready”. Not even 7 times, but 70 x 7 times, you must forgive. He knows by speaking the truth (preferably out loud), forgiveness will happen in your bones eventually. From the first day of my traumatic experience the Lord said, “I’ve got this, give them over to me.” After deep insights from The Bible into His awesome character and understanding, He is trustworthy and faithful. I was able to finally let go. I am now free from the bondage and chains that held me for those thirteen months.
You too can be free in the Lord. Say the three words. I forgive __(who)____.
All things new yet again...Isaiah 43:18, 19
Now I pray for my enemy's salvation as I forgiven them and forgotten their trespasses against me. What they meant to hurt me with, the Lord means for good!
Why Were the Heavens Created
"Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm.
Nothing is too hard for you." JEREMIAH 32:17
Why did our Sovereign Lord make the Heavens? Was it just for us to admire and observe? Where are the heavens, we ponder? Very simply let me tell you, I asked and the Creator God answered me. He is a loving personal God. He wants to tell you too.
Studying physics-based astronomy in college was one of my most celestial classes.
Though I didn’t like the physics part, it gave me an in-depth look at the magnitude of “The Heavens”. This class taught us we live in an ever expanding universe.
At that time, I was not a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. I did believe, however, there had to be some supreme deity, reasoning there was nothing random or primordial about the cosmos. It was too calculated and perfect. The probability of randomness was infinite, meaning the theory of evolution was impossible.
Learning about the different religious philosophies was another story.
Like the number of galaxies, humankind has come up with too many religions. Most are rule-based, relying on each of us working our own way to Heaven. You must strive to become perfect or enlightened. Reasonably, I was a sinner. Even I knew that much. Maybe you can relate? Not wanting to be a hypocrite, I went my own way for many years.
I rejected Christianity because it seemed rule-based as well, the Ten Commandments right? “It just is”, they would state. I would try to ask questions but quickly got shut down as blasphemous for questioning God. If God couldn’t be questioned then He wasn’t worth knowing, right? Why would He care about little ole me anyway?
Until, my carefully built stellar life came crashing down like a meteor shower in hot molten pieces all around me. My universe collapsed. A huge gaping, black hole and there was nothing I could do. My husband departed, and not dearly, my son was kicked out of kindergarten with anger issues, then I was fired from my job because I was “not a good fit” anymore. Talk about Big Bang!
In the midst of my chaos and confusion, The Lord came. He wanted a personal relationship with me. Shocked and traumatized, that’s when I realized I was not in control. God, our Creator, was real and our Heavenly Father wanted to know me personally. This was His Light show not mine.
Nine years have spun by since then. The formation of a new soul came out of the burning ashes. This woman’s primal dust was lit on fire, now white hot just like a star. Telescopic views show how everything in this one life led up to that one moment in time and space, God coming to save me. His Son is real and the Bible is true. Like a swooshing comet, the Holy Spirit does come inside, filling us up. Only then can we live biblical, moral, righteous, lives.
But more importantly, we will live forever, an eternal life with God in Heaven.
So where exactly is Heaven? From the Bible, we know Heaven is up.
Here it is stated clearly in two different verses:
Then a loud voice from heaven called to the two prophets, “Come up here!”
And they rose to heaven in a cloud as their enemies watched. Rev 11:12
When the Lord Jesus had finished talking with them, he was taken up into heaven and
sat down in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Mark 16:19
Jesus was taken up. The two prophets rose. Heaven is up.
And Jesus replied, “I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise.” Luke 23:43
As a Christian spirit-filled believer, who dies, your spirit rises up to Heaven.
We are with Jesus in paradise the moment our soul leaves this earth. Our souls do not die but are transmuted. Why can we not be a star? Our souls become a new star which is in Heaven (which is up). Before we receive our resurrected bodies, we are in Heaven with Jesus, but not in these earthly clay vessels anymore. Our physical remains are committed to earth to return to dust. Our light now burns brightly in the heavens as a star.
Do you like my theory? Are you fascinated with the stars too?
Ask God to show you the truth.
This side of Heaven there is so many unfathomable mysteries this soul cannot comprehend. Yet that never stops me from questioning my Creator God. He loves to be questioned and even better, He loves to answer us, His earthly “stars”.
One question I ask Him about is the stars, those brilliant ever expanding points of light. Pondering all I have learned, I ask Father God, “Are the stars us, our bodiless souls? Are those all my fellow believers that have died and gone to Heaven before me?”
He just chuckles at me, loving me for my vivid imagination, “Maybe Daughter, maybe you are right.”
“I love you Lord!” I expound.
“I love you too Daughter.” He gently replies.
Ah, then the sweet Heavenly peace descends as overwhelming joy fills my glowing spirit. I will find out soon enough.
The Lord made the Heavens. They are ever expanding. He has created one star, one Heavenly body for each soul who has accepted Him, those of us He chose for eternity with Him. Who’s to say this isn’t true? Only God Himself knows. Why don’t you ask Him yourself?
So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free.
And don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law. Galatians 5:1 NLT
Here are two words that make my flesh crawl: self-control. Being a believer in Christ these two
words can make or break God’s purpose for your life. He is your creator and He knows just
what you need to demolish strongholds in your life. You say, I am saved so I am good. What if
I told you it’s time to mature in Jesus Christ?
Why not flirt with your coworker? How about that half gallon of chocolate ice cream in the frig
calling your name? Why not have one more drink or one more smoke? Why not do recreational
drugs? There’s no harm in it is there? It doesn’t mean anything. Of course the answer is “yes”,
it causes great harm to you. With this worldly conforming attitude, now your flesh has full reign
and you have grieved Him, The Holy Spirit. If you are a Christ follower and have been saved by
faith through belief in our Lord Jesus Christ then yes, you have the Holy Spirit in you. Don’t fall
back into the trap that the Lord has rescued you from.
When you do these worldly fleshly things the Bible warns us against, shame and guilt follow.
Eventually, then doubt in God sets in, pushing you far away from His morality and reasoning. In
my case, before Jesus came and saved me, I decided I was innocent and guilt had no meaning in
my life. I was free to do as “I” pleased. The alcohol abuse and the promiscuous sexuality took
over, creating strongholds and lies, leading to the demise of my marriage.
What happens when you don’t feel Him, recognize Him or have Him on the inside? We fall and
fall hard. We fall into the enemy’s eager trap of temptation saying it’s never going to get better
so why not, everyone else does. Is this you?
For my scientific friends: Flesh = Fallen Nature (F=fn); the sin that so subtly ensnares us;
sometimes not so subtly. In this world, the only way to fight back against this fleshly nature is
The Holy Spirit.
Gal 5:1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free and do not
be entangled with a yoke of bondage.
He has set you free, now stay free. You don’t need that alcoholic beverage to confront another.
It will only give you false confidence and courage, influencing you to “go for it”. It only makes
you more attractive in your own eyes, liquid courage to be flagrant and falsely bold. You wake
the next morning saying, “Why did I do that again?” to your own guilt and shame.
You don’t need that snort of crank to suppress your appetite, causing temporary weight lose
because you don’t feel like eating. Until…you come down or crash hard, starving and gorge
yourself on that tub of ice cream, feeling sick and fatter than ever.
People should love you for who you are without needing validation from others like your
coworkers. You want admiration and respect. You want everyone in the office to think highly
of you. Internally, you attempt to justify yourself and the lust manifests itself. Your spouse
doesn’t understand you anymore because you are fighting. You will show your spouse right?
Well, I will tell you a secret if you are a believer. You have victory in Christ Jesus, because The
Holy Spirit lives in you. If you cannot feel Him, then you go off in your fleshly nature and do
what you want to do instead of what God wants you to do.
First stop. Then pray for forgiveness, then repent and turn (turn 180 degrees) and realize why
you are doing what you are doing, what is driving you. Most likely your need for validation and
love is from the wrong source. Well you have love, and it’s not from your spouse, your family
or friends. It is from the Lord God Almighty who is able to guide you and lead you in just the
direction you need to go. Go after His Son, follow Him.
And if you do fall, which you will until you have true freedom in Christ, then repeat the above
steps or formula.
Romans 8:1 There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, those who do not walk according to their flesh, but according to the Spirit.
Forgive yourself and do not walk in the flesh again. This is how Jesus Christ frees you from
yourself. He’s already forgiven you, so forgive yourself.
If you have not recognized the living Christ as your Lord and Savior then say this simple prayer
and you are His. It’s now time for you to grow and learn in Him.
Dear Lord Jesus, I need forgiveness and repent of my sin nature, my flesh. I turn now 180
degrees and vow to try not to keep making the same mistakes but instead follow You. I make
you Lord and Savior of my life. AMEN
If you said this prayer contact me. I will help guide you to your next steps you need for freedom
in Christ. Welcome to the His family. It is a “Big Deal”!
All My Love, Stalwart Sharla
How can those we truly pour out our agape love on refuse it?
All thirst for true love and true life. The true source is Jesus Christ. God states clearly those who will move on to eternal life and those who will move on to eternal death. Those who realize they can do nothing of themselves, those who tap into their true purpose, which only God, our Heavenly Father, Son and Holy Spirit can give them, these are the few who go onto eternal life.
Jesus states in Matthew:
“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. Mat 7:13
You Abba are realigning the people of every tribe and nation. Put your true believers, those that care about others more than themselves around me. Put them in close circumference so we can feed off of each other as we keep the Holy Spirit in the forefront.
Let us realize the only necessary moments we spend are with You and let You abide in me in all I do, the good and the bad. Praise You as You capture more of my complaining and negative thinking, dispelling it with a tiny puff. Thank You that frivolous and ignorant are not humorous. Intolerance, bigotry and pride will soon be eradicated along with this pestilence.
Thank you that most money, clothing and other material possessions are just not necessary. But praise You most for healing the dry parched promised land you safely returned me to for such a time as this. This is only my temporary residing place. Praise you my true dwelling place is in Heaven, ready and waiting for me. I will be there soon.
All my Agape Love, Your daughter, Stalwart Sharla 5-16-2020