Only Him

God has taught me that nothing can satisfy us expect for the intimate knowledge that we are known and loved by our Savior Jesus Christ.

Any loss of parent/child, friend or spouse relationships or loss of intimacy from them is unmatched to the gain of knowing Christ.

I cry out in anguish because I want those I gave my heart too, to love me back. But not only do they not love me, they cannot love me because they don't know Jesus or they have chosen to walk away from Him.
How blessed I am to know the truth because it has set me free.  "And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

I tried to tell my family the only thing that matters is knowing Christ. I thought they believed, but found out they didn't. They were too ingrained into the world's earthly riches. 
It frightens my heart and makes me anxious for them. I know because of the signs of the times that time is short. Jesus is wrapping up things shortly.

I prayed, "Lord, I place my son into Your hands. Spend his life to Your utmost glory." The visions and the words of the Love tells me the spirit of Elijah is here.

From Malachi 4:5-6 
​Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to the fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse. 
This scares me because I know the awesome might and power of our Lord, Adonai Elohim.
How is my son's spirit going to be changed from this confused youth who is under the enemy's influence in his fathers house?

Then I have to just stop and start taking deep breaths and bring everything into focus. 2 Cor 4:18. The unseen is what is real, not what is seen.

The gift of discerning of spirits is different in me. I can see the enemy attachments quickly to another. Many people run from me, especially those that are demonized. As I pray sometimes the person comes to Christ, but mostly they come to themselves. They are empty after Jesus' presence removes the evil. It's important that they refill their spirit with Holy Spirit. 

I just have to trust in God with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. I have to give my fear of man over to the Lord. What can they do to me? Though they remove their conditional love, abandon and reject me, it does not matter. Christ is my Ish (my husband). I follow Him.
That's when I realize it's all worth it. Because the God of the universe cam and saved me. He loves me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. 
Jesus is my Redeemer and Defender. All I need is only Him!

My prayer is to let them go and let God, I trust Him, the author and finisher of my faith.
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Malachi 4:2,3
But to you who fear My name The Sun of Righteousness shall arise with healing in His wings; And I shall go out and grow fat like stall fed calves. 3 I shall trample the wicked, for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet on the day I do this, " says the Lord of Hosts.